Mentoring Program

A Child's Imagination

Composer Name: Asa Knight MacDonald ( Anderson )
This piece of music I am creating reflects my past and growing up with my siblings among stress, hardships, abuse from my birth father. Imagination plays a key role in my childhood because it was a way to escape from the horrid reality we lived in and go anywhere we wanted and be whoever we wanted to be, even if it was just for 1 hour out of the day. I didn't want to reflect on who bad our situation was so imagination took those feelings of pain and hardships away.
Grade Level: 12
Intended For: Live Instrument Performance
Software Used: Noteflight
Instrumentation: Piano, Trumpet, Tenor, Bongo, Vibraphone, Tuba
Key: Key Of C
Meter Signature: 4\4
Tempo: Currently it is 80 but it may get a little bit faster later on
Status: Work in Progress
Noteflight URL: Website Title

Comments   

#5 Erik Nielsen 2018-02-15 09:45
Dear Asa,
Thanks, I look forward to meeting you in person tomorrow.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#4 Asa MacDonald 2018-02-13 14:19
Thank you for all of your comments Eric Nielsen, thank you for all the feedback so far, very helpful. In the beginning the darker sound is what I was going for essentially it reflects the reality my siblings. Later in the piece it will transition into lighter, softer, more calm music. Thank you again I will take your advice. See you Friday.
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#3 Stefanie Weigand 2018-02-12 10:53
Yes! Let's definitely get you two together on Friday. I will schedule it.
Thank you, Erik.
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#2 Erik Nielsen 2018-02-12 09:06
Dear Asa,
Thanks for posting the first version of your song for male voice, tenor, tuba, piano, vibes and bongos. You're already off to a good start with this. The instruments weave in and out of the vocal sound so that they don't compete, and that's very important.
I have some comments for you that I hope you'll find helpful.
1. The vocal line really isn't a tenor part, it's a bass part. I'm going to be the tenor singing at Opus 33 and it's too low for me, but a bass can handle it just fine. You don't need to change the music at all for this, just the name on the score, from tenor to bass.
2. Both the trumpet and the piano right hand are really low as well. This is a hopeful text, but the music will sound really dark. Is that what you want? If not, the piano right hand could go up an octave (or even two octaves in some places such as bars 17-18). Meanwhile, I'd put the trumpet up an octave in bars 4-7.
3. The tempo is very slow. It's going to be hard for the singer to maintain a sense of forward motion for the vocal line at this speed. Would you consider moving the tempo up from 80 to at least 92 and perhaps even 100? It will sound really fast at first because of what you're used to, but I think listeners will get a much better sense of flow at a somewhat brisker tempo.
4. Although I said above that the other parts didn't compete with the voice, they are right now very disjointed individually. Some of that is okay, but I think you ought to consider filling in the brass and vibes in particular a bit more. In addition, if you don't want more tuba, I'd say you could consider eliminating it, since the piano left hand can handle what the tuba is doing quite easily and the tuba part doesn't add much at the moment.

Asa, despite how much I've written, I do think this piece has a lot going for it. If you can think about what I've written, you ought to be able to work on your song and make progress. In addition, I'm coming to Harwood on Friday and I hope to be able to work with you then. In the meantime, I look forward to your next posting.

Best wishes,
Erik Nielsen
Senior Mentor
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#1 Asa MacDonald 2018-02-08 17:13
I hope through the communication of music people can grasp what I am trying to portray in my song.
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