Mentoring Program

Ellen's Composition

Ellen's composition 1
Grade Level: 12
Intended For: Live Instrument Performance
Software Used: Sibelius
Instrumentation: Piano
Key: Ab Major
Meter Signature: 3/4
Tempo: Moderato
Status: Work in Progress
File 1: application/octet-streamDownload


#5 Sandi MacLeod 2016-10-17 13:27
Since the system is new, I want to check to see that everyone gets an e-mail notification when comments are posted.

#4 Erik Nielsen 2016-10-14 10:12
Comment #2
At the moment we're laboring with a 1000 symbol limit on our comments.
My other comment is to note that your piece flows very smoothly from the beginning all the way into the modulation. That's a really long time without coming to any sort of rest. While I like what you've done, there can be such a thing as too much flow. What would it be like if you changed the melody in bar 16 to a dotted quarter note on C and then wrote three eighth notes for the end of the bar: D flat, E flat, F? Even that little pause could make a difference. Oh, and using those two closed position chords (D flat at the end of 16 and A flat at the beginning of 17) is a bit blocky, but if you just got rid of the E flat at the top of the A flat chord (you already have it in right hand), that would work better.
Ellen, this is a great start. Keep up the good work and let me know if you have questions.
Best wishes,
Erik Nielsen
Senior Mentor
#3 Erik Nielsen 2016-10-14 10:04
Dear Hyoin Rhee (or do you prefer Ellen),
Thanks for posting the first version of your solo piano piece. In general, what you have so far works very well and I find it quite charming. I'm a sucker for waltzes anyway, and yours has a very touching melody and shows a strong harmonic sense.
Let me answer your question first. Yes, the modulation to F minor (I'm assuming you mean in bar 36) is simple but effective. I'm debating whether the unison line on the final two beats is better than using harmony in the left hand, but for now, suffice it to say that the general idea of it works just fine.
I really only have two things to look at. One is spelling. The F# in bars 18 and 26 are really G flats (within this overall key scheme) and the E naturals in bars 20 and 28 are really F flats. Keep in mind that F# leads up to G while G flat (like your situation) leads down to F.
I'll continue in the next comment.
#2 Hyoin Rhee 2016-10-13 10:57
Thank you so much for mentoring my composition. I would like to get feedback for what I've written. Does my modulation work (Modulation from Ab Major to F minor)?

Thank you!
#1 Hyoin Rhee 2016-10-13 10:41
Please ignore what's written in the last ten measures!

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