Mentoring Program

Third Piece (Arrangement)

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Duet with piano accompaniment
Grade Level: 12
Intended For: Live Instrument Performance
Software Used: Sibelius
Instrumentation: Violin Cello Piano
Key: G Major
Meter Signature: 4/4
Tempo: 100
Status: Work in Progress

Comments   

#7 Erik Nielsen 2017-04-03 10:01
Dear Esther,
Thanks for re-posting. Your piece has made lots of progress. In essence it's finished, though there's a bit of cleanup to do, plus the work needs dynamic marks as well as articulations (how about some slurs once in a while for the strings?). Thanks for putting in the pizz. in cello, by the way, it makes a real difference.

Rather than write a lot here, I'm uploading a score
with notes. Most of them are score prep things, such as title, your name, getting rid of empty bars and Roman numerals, etc. But there are some clashes and some other small issues that need to be taken care of. I know time is short, so I'll leave you to it.

Please let me know if you have questions. This piece has come a long way, Esther, so if you can just deal with the little items I've indicated, you'll have a completed arrangement.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#6 Yuhyun Kim 2017-04-02 19:59
Thank you for your feedback! I took your advice and edited those parts. I also added an ending. Do you think this piece is complete?

Thank you!
Esther Kim
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#5 Erik Nielsen 2017-03-28 11:02
Dear Esther,
Thanks for posting the second version of your arrangement for piano trio. You've made a great deal of progress on this. You've filled in a lot of the parts that were only sketched out before and you've made the piano in particular much more varied in its approach.
I think I'm okay now with the pedal Gs in the bars I mentioned in my first comment, mainly because there's a lot going on elsewhere. One thing I'd say you can do in bars 10-12 is use the root of the chord for the second half of each bar. That is, in bar 10 the second half of the bar is a C chord. You could eliminate the bass G on beats 3-4 and just move to C. Likewise, in bar 11 you could move the bass to D for the second half of the bar and in 12 move to E. The harmony is already changing in the second half of those bars, and moving the bass note would make the harmonic activity more obvious.
The second thing I'd say is that you can vary the parts a bit more so that they all aren't playing parts of the melody (or at least so many of the same notes) at the same time in spots like bars 17, 19-20, and 26-29. It's important to save unison/octave lines for climactic passages. The first trio section in a piece is an important spot in that for the first time we get to hear the three instruments play simultaneously, so make sure their separate voices come out by giving them independent parts.
And that brings me to my third point. Pizzicato is a great way to help differentiate the string parts and put one of them in the background but keep it interesting. Bars 43-54 are one spot where pizzicato in one or both strings could work very well. You can even have a duet with just strings where they pass pizz. and arco (bowing) back and forth in phrases. That would really vary the sound, as would moving some of the violin music an octave higher. It's only using part of its range now.
Finally, in the last variation there's a tremendous amount of syncopation that I find rather awkward at times, especially the tie from bar 67 to 68, 70 to 71 and the repeated A going from 79 to 80. It just sounds "off" to me. It's your piece, of course, but each of those spots is an important phrase ending and having a landing on the downbeat instead of the 16th before would make it sound less awkward.

Esther, I know you are under the gun to finish this, so I'll stop here. Your piece has come a long way. I'll do my best to remain available to give a quick response to further postings. Make sure to include dynamics, a title and your name as arranger! Please let me know if you have questions. I look forward to seeing more soon.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#4 Yuhyun Kim 2017-03-27 21:35
Hello!

I've worked on this piece but I am still struggling with the harmony between the instruments. Regarding your comment on avoiding to use chords based on the same ones, I didn't know how to fix them as the original song used those chords.

Thank you for your feedback!
Esther Kim
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#3 Erik Nielsen 2017-03-14 14:25
Dear Esther,
Okay, here I am, a little later than I planned. Your arrangement is off to a very good start. Although the hymn tune itself is a lot less traditionally Korean than I had expected, your use of piano trio works very well. I like that everyone gets a chance at the tune in the first 32 bars and that you have an outline for the rest. That's great progress already.
I only have a few comments, mostly to do with harmony. With a work that has a fairly simple melody, it's important that the harmony maintain forward progress. With that in mind, try if at all possible to avoid having two or more bars in a row based on the same chord. I'm thinking of places like bars 5-6, 7-10 (all with the same bass note), 15-18, 29-30, 31-35, etc. Think about substitute chords for the second chord in a row (ii in place of IV, vi in place of I, etc.) The most successful spots in the piece at the moment are ones with an active bass line that functions like a second melody as well as the foundation of the harmony, so work to maintain that throughout the piece. Also, watch out for weak cadences, such as the ii-I cadence in bars 51-52 and 69-70.
Finally, by the time the cello enters at 15, we've had two lengthy passages of either solo or duet writing, so try to involve the violin with even simple accompaniment (some pizzicato notes, for example) in bars 15-22.
Esther, as I wrote above, this is a fine start. Please let me know if you have questions about anything I've written. Otherwise, I look forward to your next posting.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#2 Erik Nielsen 2017-03-11 15:46
Dear Esther,
Thanks for posting your new piece. I won't be able to get to it until late Monday, but then I ought to be able to get you some comments.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#1 Yuhyun Kim 2017-03-09 22:57
Hello,

This is my third piece. It is an arrangement of a Korean hymn. I have finished up to measure 32, and the rest is an outline of the piece.

Thank you!
Esther Kim
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