Mentoring Program

Five Worlds Theme

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I originally created this piece for a movie that I was working on. The movie did not work out but I had fun creating a movie score. The piece is attempting to convey a sense of adventure.
Grade Level: 7
Intended For: Not Sure
Software Used: Noteflight
Instrumentation: mostly violin and cello. have added more instruments but can pair down
Key: D minor
Meter Signature: 4/4
Tempo: changes
Status: Completed Work
Noteflight URL: Website Title
Located in: Opus 32 grades 6-8

Comments   

#17 Erik Nielsen 2017-04-17 15:02
Dear Drew,
I just checked your score because I had not heard from you and discovered that you have in fact made the changes I recommended. However, I need to print your score and parts so I can send them out to the musicians by tomorrow (Tuesday). Therefore I downloaded the score and "converted" it into Sibelius so I could work with and print the parts. I am going to email you the score I've made as a .pdf. It will look a bit different from the one you are used to. I have corrected the rhythmic notation and put in rehearsal letters. However, I want to assure you that the music is the same. Please bring this score with you to Opus 32 as it's the one the players will be referring to. Please let me know if you have questions.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#16 Erik Nielsen 2017-04-12 16:27
Dear Drew,
I haven't heard from you since April 6. I need to see what progress you've made on the tasks I set you, because there are more things I didn't include in the first message. Please let me know how you're doing as I need to print out the score and parts this weekend.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#15 Erik Nielsen 2017-04-07 10:03
Dear Drew,
Thanks for your quick response. I'll look forward to seeing an updated version when you return home. Enjoy the rest of your vacation.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#14 Drew Frankenberg 2017-04-06 16:19
Hi Erik -
Thank you so much for selecting my piece. I am very excited.

I am away with my family on vacation right now and will return on Saturday. As soon as I return I will get to work on your suggestions. I am confident that I will be able to get the work done on time.

Again, thank you for selecting my piece and I will notify you as soon as I make the recommended changes.
Drew
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#13 Erik Nielsen 2017-04-04 09:14
Dear Drew,
Congratulations! Your "Five World Theme" has been chosen for performance at Opus 32. It has a lot of rhythmic excitement and is quite cinematic in sound. I've been asked to help you get the piece in shape for the performers.
First, I must tell you that the length is a problem. We have a three minute limit for Opus pieces so that we can get as many worthy compositions performed as possible without exhausting the players. What with your initial problems posting and then discovering that you had been posting the wrong work until three days before the deadline, the message that your work is almost a minute too long, along with other valuable mentoring, got lost along the way. Cutting close to a minute out of your work is not negotiable if you want it performed on May 15. However, you can keep a copy of the original quite easily by saving a copy before you go to work on the version to be performed. Many students who are asked to do this actually find that the shorter version ends up being more effective. My own feeling is that you can cut bars 38-61 and take care of the issue at once. It's easier in a piece like this than cutting out one bar here and two bars there. The final decision of what to cut out is up to you, of course, as long as the final version ends up at three minutes or shorter.
That's task #1. Because this is a big adjustment, I'm not going to give you much more to do this time around, but there are some things that need to be taken care of as well before you re-post.
1. The work needs a title and your name at the top as composer.
2. The order of instruments is very mixed up. I see why you were putting the low instruments where you did, but it's incorrect. Here's the vertical order we need to see (from top to bottom): flute, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, violin 1, violin 2, viola, cello, bass, piano. If you click on the Instruments symbol in the top space bar you will see all the instruments. You can either physically pull the instruments up or down or you can click on the box with the dots to the left of a particular instrument and arrows will show up next to the other instruments. Click the up or down arrow and your instrument will exchange places with the next instrument. Do this until you get the order I've listed.
3. Do you really want the E vs. F clash that occurs between upper instruments on beat three of bars 14, 68 and 92? Right now it just sounds as if instruments are making mistakes.
4. The ending kind of peters out. I'd keep the bassoon, cello and bass playing in the final bar by giving bassoon and cello a low D and keeping the bass where it is. I'd also give the piano left hand both a low D and a D an octave above (that is, on the middle line of the staff) for the final bar. That will fill out the sound better.

Drew, there are a lot of other issues regarding texture (who plays when), rhythmic notation and dynamics that we need to deal with, but I don't want to overwhelm you. Please see to the issues I've listed as quickly as possible. Let me know if you have questions. I need to hear from you by Thursday or Friday morning at the very latest so we can move on to the next round. Your piece deserves all the care we can give it so it's ready for professional musicians to perform it on May 15.

Best wishes,
Erik Nielsen
Senior Mentor
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#12 Jake Lester 2017-03-29 15:20
Hey Drew,

Your piece sounds fantastic! It's very exciting and it gives off a very cinematic quality. Rhythmically it's very creative and I love the dynamic contrast. I'm glad you found some spots to insert harmony as well.

One tiny nitpick is all I have - That chord that the violin plays on beat one of M1 doesn't actually work. Those two notes simply won't be able to be played at the same time based on the violin's tuning. Not a big deal though! The piano doubles this. Simply pick a note to remove and that'll be that.

Other than that, I think your piece is ready for submission! Thanks for working so hard, Drew. It's been awesome to work with you.

-Jake
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#11 Drew Frankenberg 2017-03-28 11:00
Hi Jake, I `just realized that I have been working on the wrong piece!! I changed the URL, now it shows the five worlds theme I have been working on.

Please let me know what you think!

Drew
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#10 Jake Lester 2017-03-27 17:49
Hey Drew,

We're getting down to the wire (submissions are due Thursday at midnight) so I want to remind you of a few things:

Your piece will not be eligible with the tuba part in there. You should remove the tuba. This shouldn't be a problem, since the tuba part is doubled by the bass.

You should remove the english horn from the piece. If you absolutely need an instrument to play one of the EH parts, you could include the flute and have it play the part instead!

Again, I would focus on creating harmonies to go with your various themes. You have so many instruments playing the same line. Harmony would be a really effective way to make your piece even more interesting!

Thanks Drew! Let's work hard for Thursday's deadline.

-Jake
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#9 Drew Frankenberg 2017-03-24 10:55
Hi Jake,

I tried to incorporate most of your suggestions.I am still working on the harmony parts. If you have any more please let me know.

Thanks,
Drew
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#8 Jake Lester 2017-03-22 20:18
Hey Drew,

Just a heads up: Opus 32 submissions are due next Thursday at midnight. Keep up the great work. I know you'll be able to finish by then!

-Jake
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