Mentoring Program

spring bloom

845 userid
want it to have a flow to it. I like it how it is right now but it may need editing.
Grade Level: 5
Intended For: Live Instrument Performance
Software Used: Noteflight
Instrumentation: violin, chello, and bass.
Key: g
Meter Signature: 4/4
Tempo: 120
Status: Completed Work
Noteflight URL: Website Title

Comments   

#12 Michael Close 2017-04-20 04:31
Great, I'm glad to hear you are interested in continuing. If you have a revision that you would like me to comment on, just post a note and let me know.

Best Wishes,

Mike Close
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#11 Diya Kulkarni 2017-04-19 11:44
Dear Mr.Mike,
Thank you for all of your support. I am still going to continue to work on my piece. Adding the bass in the first 4 measures didn't sound so good to me but I will try some more Ideas and see which one works.
Thanks again,
Diya
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#10 Michael Close 2017-04-06 07:57
Hello Diya,

I just wanted to congratulate you on all the progress you made with this piece. Even though it was not selected for Opus you should be very proud. There are so many submissions for the concert, it is impossible to present all the compositions that deserve a live performance. I hope to see you again on the mentoring site.

Best Wishes,

Mike Close
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#9 Michael Close 2017-04-02 09:39
Hello Diya,

I'm glad to hear you are submitting your piece for the Opus concert. Whether or not it is selected, you should be proud of all the progress you've made on it!

I think the opening is in much better shape now. The dissonances are gone. It would be nice for the bass to play along with the other instruments in the opening- you could simply have it double the cello or the violin 2...

Best Wishes,

Mike Close
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#8 Diya Kulkarni 2017-03-30 17:34
Mr.Mike,
I think I want to keep editing my piece and am going to be submitting it.
Thanks,
DIya
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#7 Diya Kulkarni 2017-03-30 16:48
Dear Mr.Mike,
I tied to add the bass into the opening and do some other things you said, but it just doesn't song right! :(
do you have any other advice?
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#6 Michael Close 2017-03-29 11:47
Hello Diya,

Thank you for sharing this revision.

I worry that there are unintentional dissonances in the opening 4 measures. The notes are in the same spaces on the staves on all the instruments with a few exceptions, but the cello and bass are in bass clef and the violins are in treble.

Perhaps to create harmony in the lower voices against the violin 1 you could try my comments from before:
"Speaking of the cello part in the first 4 measures, it moves in parallel octaves with the melody in the violin 1 part- this could be more exciting if the parts were more independent, perhaps if the two parts moved in opposite directions. Try starting the cello on B, then down to A in m. 2, then to G in m. 3. Then rather than having the cello and violin play the same thing in octaves, try this starting in m. 3 for the cello in half notes- G,E,E,D. This will create more independence between the parts and make them more satisfying."

Keep up the good work.

Mike Close
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#5 Hilary Goldblatt 2017-03-27 12:27
Hi Mike,
Diya worked in class today on her piece- I think she made changes. I won't see her again until Weds. She may be able to work more then if you comment again.
Thanks,
Hilary
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#4 Michael Close 2017-03-27 12:00
Not to worry, let me know when you are ready to share a revision - Just type a quick note letting me know what you've changed and I'll get an automatic email so I know to get back to you.

Best Wishes,

Mike
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#3 Hilary Goldblatt 2017-03-27 11:14
I am so sorry Mr.Mike for the delay,
Thank you so much for the advice. I will try to work on adding in those parts.
Thanks,
Diya
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