Mentoring Program

shadow man

926 userid
Its about a little boy who's brother died a year ago. The little boys mom lives on one side of the woods and his grandmother lives on the other side. after school the little boy has to go across the woods too his grandmothers house. If he's not at her house by 5:00 his brothers spirit will come out and haunt him. The little boy has been reading a lot of books so when his brothers spirit comes out he thinks it shadow man and starts to run . When the music speeds up it represents the little boy running .
Grade Level: 5
Intended For: Live Instrument Performance
Software Used: Noteflight
Instrumentation: double bass,double bass,violin,violincello,
Key: G&f
Meter Signature: 4/4
Tempo: 120
Status: Work in Progress
Noteflight URL: Website Title

Comments   

#7 Erik Nielsen 2017-04-03 15:01
Dear Jasmine,
Thanks for entering your piece for Opus 32. Unfortunately, it was not chosen for performance. However, I congratulate you on the work you put into it. I enjoyed mentoring you on it, and encourage you to keep composing. I look forward to seeing more work from you in the future.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#6 Erik Nielsen 2017-03-29 11:14
Dear Jasmine,
Just checking your link after getting your message, I found that you have done a lot of work on your piece. Congratulations . Again, this creates a dark mood that matches your description. I particularly like the new solo melody that starts at bar 33. And that leads to my first suggestion.
1. Once we've heard this as a solo once, even giving it to another instrument isn't enough to keep our interest if there aren't changes. Keep the cello going when the bass plays in 37-40, then change the line a little when it gets back to cello, etc. That will keep it interesting.
2. The violin is underused. There are long stretches where it doesn't play at all. Figure out how to add to it.
3. You can use pizzicato (plucking) some of the time to change the sound of the instruments. I think some of the repeats of the bar 3 material could be plucked, for instance. Just click on a note, type t (for technique) and a little box ought to show up above the note. Type pizz. and listen to the difference. When you want to have the music bowed again, just click on the note that starts bowing, type t and then type arco (it means bow in Italian) and that's what you'll get.
Jasmine, this is real progress. Now if you can work on the things I've mentioned before tomorrow's deadline your piece ought to continue to improve. Let me know if you have questions.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#5 Jasmine Evans 2017-03-29 10:19
I know,Can´t wait to post it.
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#4 Erik Nielsen 2017-03-27 15:50
Dear Jasmine,
I know you and your classmates haven't had your music posted for Opus 32 for very long, but I need to remind you that your piece is due in its final version this Thursday by midnight. Let me know if there's anything you need from me.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#3 Erik Nielsen 2017-03-22 14:28
Dear Jasmine,
Thanks for clarifying why you put "awesome" in the Key area. What's needed is a clear idea of the home note or keynote. I mentioned that F or G seemed like the main notes to me, but you need to make up your mind where "home" is musically, because that will make a big difference in how your piece develops. And once you've made up your mind about that you can put the note you've chosen (F, G or something else) after the word Key in the description area. And please remember that the final version is due 8 days from now, on Thursday, March 30. Please let me know if you have questions.

Best wishes,
Erik
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#2 Jasmine Evans 2017-03-20 18:48
Mrs.Luzader had never told us what do fill in for the key section so thats why i had said
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#1 Erik Nielsen 2017-03-14 14:41
Dear Jasmine,
Thanks for posting the first version of your piece. Thanks especially for writing the description. That helps us to know what you're trying to accomplish in your work. You've created a very dark mood with all the low sounds and the sudden stops and starts. I'll be your primary mentor for this work, so let's get started. I have some comments and suggestions.
1. We only have one double bass, so you'll need to eliminate the bottom one. That's easy since you can put its notes in the upper bass part. Also, what's the blank line at the top of the score for?
2. Your piece needs a melody, a tune that centers on one pitch, uses more steps than skips, some rhythmic patterns that repeat (two eighth notes followed by two quarter notes, repeated at various times, for example), fewer stops and starts, and holds together as a singable tune. That's the "main character" or "storyline". What you have right now is all background music. The reason we put "Key" in the Description is for you to figure out and tell us what note the piece centers on. So "awesome" isn't helpful, but F or G (the two main notes so far) would be.
Jasmine, what I've written above is my best advice for you to follow to try to create a piece that will tell your story. Please let me know if you have questions. I look forward to seeing your first revision.

Best wishes,
Erik Nielsen
Senior Mentor
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